Choices: Left Turn at the Crossroads
by livengoo
Summary: Teal'c has made many choices in his life and served many masters. This choice cost more than most.


Choices: Left turn at the Crossroads

By Livengoo

Spoilers for Crossroads.

The Gate was silent, shining dully under low lights. Teal'c reached out to press a single finger to the briefing room glass, tracing the great circle.

In the oh-two-hundred quiet, even the SGC held its breath, moving in the slow rhythms of the dead of night. Teal'c closed his eyes and let himself lean forward, fingertips pressed to the cool glass, feeling the heart of the mountain around him, so much slower and stronger than this rushed, tangled little warren.

The currents down here were always damp and chilly, no matter how the Tau'ri machines heated and dried the air. A draft tickled the back of his neck, heated by a body moving through air. Teal'c remained still, watching the dim reflection where light shone off a smooth pate, a pale blue shirt. "General Hammond," Teal'c greeted him quietly. "You are here late."

An equally soft grunt answered. "I could say the same about you, Son."

Teal'c turned, raising an eyebrow. "But I reside here. The same cannot be said of yourself." He paused a moment. "Though I have heard some speculation to the contrary."

The general chuckled and stepped up next to him, looking down at the gate. "Sometimes I think I live here, myself."

The two men stared quietly out for a time, each lost in his own thoughts. When the general finally spoke even his whisper seemed loud. "Sometimes it feels like we're ghosts. Like real life is on the other side and this side is this crazy illusion where bills and football and who wins the damn election matters."

"But those things do matter." Teal'c did not look at him, granting the old warrior distance from the words. "Those things are the ones we defend. The secret war is waged when even the knowledge of the enemy would destroy those we protect."

A low chuckle answered him and this time Teal'c turned back, eyeing the man next to him. "I have amused you? I was unaware of the comedy in my words."

Hammond laughed harder. "No, Son. That's not it. Well, that is it but you're the only one I know could say a thing like that and not sound like a damned ass, pardon my French."

"I was not aware –"

"That 'ass' was French? You pull that shit on Jack, Son, I take enough crap day to day that I don't need it at this time of night." Hammond was grinning up at him, cheeks creased with rare laughter that turned lines of worry to glee. "And you sell the bullshit to Jack too, okay?"

Words did not offer an appropriate response. Teal'c chose the route that kept him alive despite decades at a false god's side. He bowed his head and left it to the other man to step into the trap.

And Hammond did, though not in any way he'd ever foreseen. The laughter fell from the round man's face, leaving a soft illusion that did not truly hide the warrior within. Pale eyes studied him with brutal honesty and compassion. "I'm sorry about Shau'nac, Son. Truly I am. She seemed a brave and decent woman to me."

Teal'c shut his eyes, shuttering his thoughts behind them and answered with another nod, toneless words. "She was brave, a leader in spirit and body who died free."

The long sigh that answered him conveyed a world of emotions, most of them muddled. "She was that. But frankly, the party line's an example of bullshit, Teal'c. You gettin' me?"

His back stiffened instinctively, and he consciously unclenched his jaw and turned a blank expression to the other man. "I am not 'getting' you sir. However, I would prefer you not refer to anything related to Shau'nac in those terms again."

Hammond locked his hands behind his back in the instinctive parade rest of his kind. "I know what she meant to you. Everyone here could see what she meant to you."

"Do you?" Teal'c waited, caught his eyes and held them.

The General stared back. "No. I guess I can't. I guess none of us can really know, but we know you loved her. And that losing her took a piece out of you. And there are just too many of us who do know what that means."

Teal'c blinked and turned away, accepting that. "She was more than that."

"I know that." Hammond sighed, an honest and tired sound. "I would never have wished her harm, Son, but at least we're both on the same page now."

"You speak in riddles, General Hammond. It is unworthy of you."

"Not a riddle in the pack, Teal'c and you know it." Hammond wasn't looking straight at him, but in the window their eyes met. "And the only unworthy words are ones of false loyalty."

Teal'c sucked in a deep breath and relaxed the instinctive tension in his body. "Do you accuse me of perfidy? Towards you? Or her? I prefer my accusations to be clear."

"The only accusation I'd make is that you didn't trust us enough." Hammond sighed again. "And I don't even believe that. Not for the most part."

The tension was harder to keep from his spine, and Teal'c wanted to furrow his brow. He turned to face the general full on. "You accuse yet say you do not."

Hammond had turned too and looked up towards him, body relaxed, sorrow in his eyes. "You told Jack you were loyal to us, Teal'c."

"I am!" Teal'c allowed his puzzlement to cross his face, wondering at strange Tau'ri logic. Hammond was half his age, yet was truly baffling him tonight. "Do you doubt me after all?"

The chuckle that answered was just a little sad. "I don't doubt you at all, Teal'c. But maybe I just had one too many lies today. I live with them you know, lying to my people and my family, my friends. And listening to lies from my allies and just smiling and eating them up, and that's one more lie. Maybe I just want to get rid of one lie that neither you nor I need."

Teal'c studied him now, as closely as he'd studied any man in a long time. "Would you make me ask what you mean?"

"Nah. No, I'm sorry about the cryptic shit." Another low chuckle, too bittersweet to truly be a laugh. "I'm jus' trying to figure the words to say that won't give offense where none's meant."

"Then speak plain." Teal'c relaxed again, listening to the twang that grew stronger as the man spoke to him more, to informal words that weren't a general, but only one man speaking to another.

"You were a general, Teal'c. I know that. For a long time I wondered why you submitted to this bust in rank and the shit we put you through." Hammond had turned back to stare out at the shadowy, brass-colored 'Gate. "I know you're not loyal to us."

"I – " Hammond held up a hand in a gesture much like O'Neill's and Teal'c stopped, obeying and amused.

"No. I mean what I said." Hammond glanced at him then back out again. "Oh, you're loyal to Jack and your team, and I figure to the SGC too. But not the Tau'ri. That's just window dressing for the fools who want to feel safe back in the Pentagon far as I'm concerned."

Teal'c considered those words silently, as Hammond stood wordless beside him. The smaller man frowned, and seemed to be wrestling with another thought. "That's not a bad thing, Teal'c. It's a thing I can understand. But those lies just get us into trouble right and left it seems and maybe it's time to clear the air."

"I am loyal to you, Sir." He put all the respect he could into the title and saw a brief flicker of a smile in response.

"And I take that to heart. Way I see it, you're loyal all right. To your people first, their cause and their need. And your family next, and I guess Shau'nac was damn near that to you. I'd never ask a man to betray that trust."

Teal'c understood him now. He turned to study the Stargate quietly, feeling his own peace return though he knew the officer was still mulling his words. He didn't need to wait for them now. He understood. "Your words are true. And I, too, would not have the lies between us. Your people are not mine, though we share a cause and honor."

Hammond relaxed, and the charge left the air between them. Teal'c eased into a posture of respectful ease, waiting. The general sighed but this time the sound was relieved instead of sad. "I know. You're loyal to the people who need you to be, but your first calling will always be there. That's just honor and true."

"Years ago, I saw a man who chose a fool's path, or so I thought." Teal'c tilted his head and smiled to himself. "But he believed in himself in a way I could not ignore. And I followed the fool to my freedom. My people must learn to trust that path and they, too, will need a guide."

"I can live with that." Hammond nodded beside him. "But tell you what. I needed the truth, but maybe this truth's just our secret for now."

Teal'c felt his smile broaden and nodded back. "If you think that is wise."

"Lemme see. I know and you know. But do we need to tell Jack he's your fool?"

Two flashes of white shone in the window and two very different men stood sharing silence, both knowing the truth.


End file.
